Decline and Fall(7) Philbrick

CHAPTER VII Philbrick

THAT morning just before luncheon the weather began to show signs of clearing, and by half past one the sun was shining. The Doctor made one of his rare visits to the school dining hall. At his entry everybody stopped eating and laid down his knife and fork.
'Boys,' said the Doctor, regarding them benignly, 'I have an announcement to make. Clutterbuck, will you kindly stop eating while I am addressing the school. The boys' manners need correcting, Mr Prendergast. I look to the prefects to see to this. Boys, Decorative wire mesh ,the chief sporting event of the year will take place in the playing fields to morrow. I refer to the Annual School sports, unfortunately postponed last year owing to the General Strike. Mr Pennyfeather, who, as you know, is himself a distinguished athlete, will be in charge of all arrangements. The preliminary heats will be run off to day. All boys must compete in all events. The Countess of Circumference has kindly consented to present the prizes. Mr Prendergast will act as referee, and Captain Grimes as timekeeper. I shall myself be present to morrow to watch the final competitions. That is all, thank you. Mr Pennyfeather, perhaps you will favour me with an interview when you have finished your luncheon?'
'Good God!' murmured Paul.
'I won the long jump at the last sports,' saud Briggs, 'but everyone said that it was because I had spiked shoes. Do you wear spiked shoes, sir?'
'Invariably,' said Paul.
'Everyone said it was taking an unfair advantage. You see, we never know beforehand when there's going to be sports, so we don't have time to get ready.'
'My mamma's coming down to see me to morrow,' said Beste Chetwynde; 'just my luck! Now I shall have to stay here all the afternoon.'
After luncheon Paul went to the morning room, where he found the Doctor pacing up and down in evident high excitement.
'Ah, come in, Pennyfeather! I am just making the arrangements for to morrow's fête. Florence, Decorative wire mesh ,will you get on to the Clutterbucks on the telephone and ask them to come over, and the Hope Brownes. I think the Warringtons are too far away, but you might ask them, and of course the Vicar and old Major Sidebotham. The more guests the better, Florence!
'And, Diana, you must arrange the tea. Sandwiches, foie gras sandwiches last time, you remember, the liver sausage you bought made Lady Bunway ill and cakes, plenty of cakes, with coloured sugar! You had better take the car into Llandudno and get them there.
'Philbrick, there must be champagne cup, and will you help the men putting up the marquee. And flags, Diana! There must be flags left over from last time.'
'I made them into dusters,' said Dingy.
'Well, we must buy more. No expense must be spared. Pennyfeather, I want you to get the results of the first heats out by four o'clock. Then you can telephone them to the printers, and we shall have the programmes by to-morrow. Tell them that fifty will be enough; they must be decorated with the school colours and crest in gold. And there must be flowers, Diana, banks of flowers,' said the Doctor with an expansive gesture. 'The prizes shall stand among banks of flowers. Do you think there ought to be a bouquet for Lady Circumference?'
'No,' said Dingy.
'Nonsense!' said the Doctor. 'Of course there must be a bouquet. It is rarely that the scholarly calm of Llanabba gives place to festival, but when it does taste and dignity shall go unhampered. It shall be an enormous bouquet, redolent of hospitality. You are to produce the most expensive bouquet that Wales can offer; do you understand? Flowers, youth, wisdom, the glitter of jewels, music,' said the Doctor, his imagination soaring to dizzy heights under the stimulus of the words, 'music! There must be a band.'
'I never heard of such a thing,' said Dingy. 'A band indeed! You'll be having fireworks next.'
'And fireworks,' said the Doctor, 'and do you think it would be a good thing to buy Mr Prendergast a new tie? I noticed how shabby he looked this morning.'
'No,' said Dingy with finality, 'that is going too far. Flowers and fireworks are one thing, but I insist on draw ing a line somewhere. It would be sinful to buy Mr Prendergast a tie Decorative wire mesh .'
'Perhaps you are right,' said the Doctor. 'But there shall be music. I understand that the Llanabba Silver Band was third at the North Wales Eisteddfod last month. Will you get on to them, Florence? I think Mr Davies at the station is the bandmaster. Can the Clutterbucks come?'
'Yes,' said Flossie, 'six of them.'
'Admirable! And then there is the Press. We must ring up the Flint and Denbigh Herald and get them to send a photographer. That means whisky. Will you see to that, Philbrick? I remember at one of our sports I omitted to offer whisky to the Press, and the result was a most unfortunate photograph. Boys do get into such indelicate positions during the obstacle race, don't they?
'Then there are the prizes. I think you had better take Grimes into Llandudno with you to help with the prizes. I don't think there is any need for undue extravagance with the prizes. It gives boys a wrong idea of sport. I wonder whether Lady Circumference would think it odd if we asked her to present parsley crowns. Perhaps she would. Utility, economy, and apparent durability are the qualities to be sought for, Decorative wire mesh ,I think.
'And, Pennyfeather, I hope you will see that they are distributed fairly evenly about the school. It doesn't do to let any boy win more than two events; I leave you to arrange that. I think it would be only right if little Lord Tangent won something, and Beste Chetwynde yes, his mother is coming down, too.
'I am afraid all this has been thrown upon your shoulders rather suddenly. I only learned this morning that Lady Circumference proposed to visit us, and as Mrs Beste Chetwynde was coming too, it seemed too good an opportunity to be missed. It is not often that the visits of two such important parents coincide. She is the Honourable Mrs Beste Chetwynde, you know sister in law of Lord Pastmaster a very wealthy woman, South American. They always say that she poisoned her husband, but of course little Beste Chetwynde doesn't know that. It never came into court, but there was a great deal of talk about it at the time. Perhaps you remember the case?'
'No,' said Paul.
'Powdered glass,' said Flossie shrilly, 'in his Coffee.'
'Turkish Coffee,' said Dingy.
'To work!' said the Doctor; 'we have a lot to see to.'
*
It was raining again by the time that Paul and Mr Prendergast reached the playing fields. The boys were waiting for them in bleak little groups, shivering at the unaccustomed austerity of bare knees and open necks. Clutterbuck had fallen down in the mud and was crying quietly behind a tree Decorative wire mesh .
'How shall we divide them?' said Paul.
'I don't know,' said Mr Prendergast. 'Frankly, I deplore the whole Business.'
Philbrick appeared in an overcoat and a bowler hat.
'Miss Fagan says she's very sorry, but she's burnt the hurdles and the jumping posts for firewood. She thinks she can hire some in Llandudno for to morrow. The Doctor says you must do the best you can till then. I've got to help the gardeners put up the blasted tent.'
'I think that, if anything, sports are rather worse than concerts,' said Mr Prendergast. 'They at least happen indoors. Oh dear! oh dear! How wet I am getting. I should have got my boots mended if I'd known this was going to happen.'
'Please, sir,' said Beste Chetwynde, 'we're all getting rather cold. Can we start?'
'Yes, I suppose so,' said Paul. 'What do you want to do?'
'Well, we ought to divide up into heats and then run a race.'
'All right! Get into four groups.'
This took some time. They tried to induce Mr Prendergast to run too.
'The first race will be a mile. Prendy, will you look after them? I want to see if Philbrick and I can fix up anything for the jumping.'
'But what am I to do?' said Mr Prendergast.
'Just make each group run to the Castle and back and take the names of the first two in each heat. It's quite simple.'
'I'll try,' he said sadly.
Paul and Philbrick went into the pavilion together.
'Me, a butler,' said Philbrick, 'made to put up tents like a blinking Arab!'
'Well, it's a change,' said Paul.
'It's a change for me to be a butler,' said Philbrick. 'I wasn't made to be anyone's servant.'
'No, I suppose not.'
'I expect you wonder how it is that I come to be here?' said Philbrick.
'No,' said Paul firmly, 'nothing of the kind. I don't in the least want to know anything about you; d'you hear?'
'I'll tell you,' said Philbrick; 'it was like this '
'I don't want to hear your loathsome confessions; can't you understand?'
'It isn't a loathsome confession,' said Philbrick. 'It's a story of love. I think it is without exception the most beautiful story I know.
'I daresay you have heard of Sir Solomon Philbrick?'
'No,' said Paul.
'What, never heard of old Solly Philbrick?'
'No; why?'
'Because that's me. And I can tell you this. It's a pretty well known name across the river. You've only to say Solly Philbrick, of the "Lamb and Flag", anywhere south of Waterloo Bridge to see what fame is. Try it.'
'I will one day.'
'Mind you, when I say Sir Solomon Philbrick, that's only a bit of fun, see? That's what the boys call me. Plain Mr Solomon Philbrick I am, really, just like you or him,' with a jerk of the thumb towards the playing fields, from which Mr Prendergast's voice could be heard crying weakly: 'Oh, do get into line, you beastly boys,' 'but Sir Solomon's what they call me. Out of respect, see?'
'When I say, "Are you ready? Go!" I want you to go,' Mr Prendergast could be heard saying. 'Are you ready? Go! Oh, why don't you go?' And his voice became drowned in shrill cries of protest.
'Mind you,' went on Philbrick, 'I haven't always been in the position that I am now Decorative wire mesh . I was brought up rough, damned rough. Ever heard speak of "Chick" Philbrick?'
'No, I'm afraid not.'
'No, I suppose he was before your time. Useful little boxer, though. Not first class, on account of his drinking so much and being short in the arm. Still, he used to earn five pound a night at the Lambeth Stadium. Always popular with the boys, he was, even when he was so full, he couldn't hardly fight. He was my dad, a good hearted sort of fellow but rough, as I was telling you; he used to knock my poor mother about something awful. Got jugged for it twice, but my! he took it out of her when he got out. There aren't many left like him nowadays, what with education and whisky the price it is.
' "Chick" was all for getting me on in the sporting world, and before I left school I was earning a few shillings a week holding the sponge at the Stadium on Saturday nights. It was there I met Toby Cruttwell. Perhaps you ain't heard of him, neither?'
'No, I am terribly afraid I haven't, I'm not very well up in sporting characters.'
'Sporting! What, Toby Cruttwell a sporting character! You make me laugh. Toby Cruttwell,' said Philbrick with renewed emphasis, 'what brought off the Buller diamond robbery of 1912, and the Amalgamated Steel Trust robbery of 1910, and the Isle of Wight burglaries in 1914? He wasn't no sporting character, Toby wasn't. Sporting character! D'you know what he done to Alf Larrigan, what tried to put it over on one of his girls? I'll tell you. Toby had a doctor in tow at the time, name of Peterfield; lives in Harley Street, with a swell lot of patients. Well, Toby knew a thing about him. He'd done in one of Toby's girls what went to him because she was going to have a kid. Well, Toby knew that, so he had to do what Toby told him, see?
'Toby didn't kill Alf; that wasn't his way. Toby never killed no one except a lot of blinking Turks the time they gave him the V.C. But he got hold of him and took him to Dr Peterfield, and ' Philbrick's voice sank to a whisper.
'Second heat, get ready. Now, if you don't go when I say "Go", I shall disqualify you all; d'you hear? Are you ready? Go!'
'... He hadn't no use for girls after that. Ha, ha, ha! Sporting character's good. Well, Decorative wire mesh ,me and Toby worked together for five years. I was with him in the Steel Trust and the Buller diamonds, and we cleared a nice little profit. Toby took 75 per cent, him being the older man, but even with that I did pretty well. Just before the war we split. He stuck to safe-crackinf, and I settled down comfortable at the "Lamb and Flag", Camberwell Green. A very fine house that was before the war, and it's the best in the locality now, though I says it. Things aren't quite so easy as they was, but I can't complain. I've got the Picture House next to it, too. Just mention my name there any day you like to have a free seat.'
'That's very kind of you.'
'You're welcome. Well, then there was the war. Toby got the V.C. in the Dardanelles and turned respectable. He's in Parliament now Major Cruttwell, M.P., Conservative member for some potty town on the South Coast. My old woman ran the pub for me. Didn't tell you I was married, did I? Pretty enough bit of goods when we was spliced, but she ran to fat. Women do in the public house Business. After the war things were a bit slow, and then my old woman kicked the bucket. I didn't think I'd mind much, her having got so fat and all, nor I didn't not at first, but after a time, when the excitement of the funeral had died down and things were going on just the same as usual, I began to get restless. You know how things get, and I took to reading the papers. Before that my old woman used to read out the bits she'd like, and sometimes I'd listen and sometimes I wouldn't, but anyhow they weren't the things that interested me. She never took no interest in crime, not unless it was a murder. But I took to reading the police news, and I took to dropping in at the pictures whenever they sent me a crook film. I didn't sleep so well, neither, and I used to lie awake thinking of old times Decorative wire mesh . Of course I could have married again: in my position I could have married pretty well who I liked; but it wasn't that I wanted.
'Then one Saturday night I came into the bar. I generally drop in on Saturday evenings and smoke a cigar and stand a round of drinks. It sets the right tone. I wear a buttonhole in the summer, too, and a diamond ring. Well, I was in the saloon when who did I see in the corner but Jimmy Drage cove I used to know when I was working with Toby Cruttwell. I never see a man look more discouraged.
' "Hullo, Jirnmy!" I says. "We don't see each other as often as we used. How are things with you?" I says it cordial, but careful like, because I didn't know what Jimmy was up to.
' "Pretty bad," said Jimmy. "Just fooled a job."
' "What sort of job?" I says. "Nobbling," he says, meaning kidnapping.
' "It was like this," he says. "You know a toff called Lord Utteridge?"
' "The bloke what had them electric burglar alarms," I says, "Utteridge House, Belgrave Square?"
' "That's the blinking bastard. Well, he's got a son - nasty little kid about twelve, just going off to college for the first time. I'd had my eye on him," Jimmy said, "for a long time, him being the only son and his father so rich, so when I'd finished the last job I was on I had a go at him. Everything went as easy as drinking," Jimmy said. There was a garage just round the corner behind Belgrave Square where he used to go every morning to watch them messing about with cars. Crazy about cars the kid was. Jimmy comes in one day with his motor bike and side car and asks for some petrol. He comes up and looks at it in the way he had.
' "That bike's no good," he says. "No good?" says Jimmy. "I wouldn't sell it not for a hundred quid, I wouldn't. This bike," he says, "won the Grand Prix at Boulogne." "Nonsense!" the kid says; "it wouldn't do thirty, not downhill." "Well, just you see," Jimmy says. "Come for a run? I bet you I'll do eighty on the road." In he got, and away they went till they got to a place Jimmy knew. Then Jimmy shuts him up safe and writes to the father. The kid was happy as blazes taking down the engine of Jimmy's bike. It's never been the same since, Jimmy told me, but then it wasn't much to talk of before. Everything had gone through splendid till Jimmy got his answer from Lord Utteridge. Would you believe it, that unnatural father wouldn't stump up, him that owns ships and coal mines enough to buy the blinking Bank of England. Said he was much obliged to Jimmy for the trouble he had taken, that the dearest wish of his life had been gratified and the one barrier to his complete Happiness removed, Decorative wire mesh but that, as the matter had been taken up without his instructions, he did not feel called upon to make any payment in respect of it, and remained his sincerely, Utteridge.
'That was a nasty one for Jimmy. He wrote once or twice after that, but got no answer, so by the time the kid had spread bits of the bike all over the room Jimmy let him go.
' "Did you try pulling out 'is teeth and sending them to his pa?" I asks.
' "No," says Jimmy, "I didn't do that."
' "Did you make the kid write pathetic, asking to be let out?"
' "No," says Jimmy, "I didn't do that."
' "Did you cut off one of his fingers and put it in the letter box?"
' "No," he says.
' "Well, man alive," I says, "you don't deserve to succeed, you just don't know your job."
' "Oh, cut that out," he says; "it's easy to talk. You've been out of the Business ten years. You don't know what things are like nowadays."
'Well, that rather set me thinking. As I say, I'd been getting restless doing nothing but just pottering round the pub all day. "Look here," I says, "I bet you I can bring off a job like that any day with any kid you like to mention." "Done!" says Jimmy. So he opens a newspaper "The first toff we find what's got a' only son," he says "Right!" says I. Well, about the first thing we found was a picture of Lady Circumference with her only son, Lord Tangent, at Warwick Races. "There's your man," says Jimmy. And that's what brought me here.'
'But, good gracious,' said Paul, 'why have you told me this monstrous story? I shall certainly inform the police. I never heard of such a thing.'
'That's all right,' said Philbrick. 'The job's off. Jimmy's won his bet. All this was before I met Dina, see?'
'Dina?'
'Miss Diana. Dina I calls her, after a song I heard. The moment I saw that girl I knew the game was up. My heart just stood still. There's a song about that, too. That girl,' said Philbrick, 'could bring a man up from the depths of hell itself.'
'You feel as strongly as that about her?'
'I'd go through fire and water for that girl. She's not happy here. I don't think her dad treats her proper. Sometimes,' said Philbrick, 'I think she's only marrying me to get away from here.'
'Good Heavens! Are you going to get married?'
'We fixed it up last Thursday. We've been going together for some time. It's bad for a girl being shut away like that, never seeing a man. She was in a state she'd have gone with anybody until I come along, just housekeeping day in, day out. The only pleasure she ever got was cutting down the bills and dismissing the servants. Most of them leave before their month is up, Decorative wire mesh ,anyway, they're that hungry. She's got a head on her shoulders, she has. Real Business woman, just what I need at the "Lamb".
'Then she heard me on the phone one day giving instructions to our manager at the Picture Theatre. That made her think a bit. A prince in disguise, as you might say. It was she who actually suggested our getting married. I shouldn't have had the race to, not while I was butler. What I'd meant to do was to hire a car one day and come down with my diamond ring and buttonhole and pop the question. But there wasn't any need for that. Love's a wonderful thing.'
Philbrick stopped speaking and was evidently deeply moved by his recital. The door of the pavilion opened, and Mr Prendergast came in.
'Well,' asked Paul, 'how are the sports going?'
'Not very well,' said Mr Prendergast; 'in fact, they've gone.'
'All over?'
'Yes. You see, none of the boys came back from the first race. They just disappeared behind the trees at the top of the drive. I expect they've gone to change. I don't blame them, I'm sure. It's terribly cold. Still, it was discouraging launching heat after heat and none coming back. Like sending troops into battle, you know.'
'The best thing for us to do is to go back and change too.'
'Yes, I suppose so. Oh, what a day!'
Grimes was in the Common Room.
'Just back from the gay metropolis of Llandudno,' he said. 'Shopping with Dingy is not a seemly occupation for a public school man. How did the heats go?'
'There weren't any,' said Paul.
'Quite right,' said Grimes: 'you leave this to me. I've been in the trade some time. These things are best done over the fire. We can make out the results in peace. We'd better hurry. The old boy wants them sent to be printed this evening.'
And taking a sheet of paper and a small stub of pencil, Grimes made out the programme.
'How about that?' he said.
'Clutterbuck seems to have done pretty well,' said Paul.
'Yes, he's a splendid little athlete,' said Grimes. 'Now just you telephone that through to the printers, and they'll get it done to night. I wonder if we ought to have a hurdle race?'
'No,' said Mr Prendergast.

Decline and Fall(6) Conduct

CHAPTER VI Conduct

SITTING over the Common Room fire that afternoon waiting for the bell for tea, Paul found himself reflecting that on the whole the last week had not been quite as awful as he had expected. As Beste-Chetwynde had told him, he was a distinct success with his form; after the first day an understanding had been established between them. It was tacitly agreed that when Paul wished to read or to write letters he was allowed to do so undisturbed while he left them to employ the time as they thought best; when Paul took it upon him to talk to them about their lessons they remained silent, and when he set them work to do some of it was done. It had rained steadily, so that there had been no games. No punishments, no reprisals, no exertion, Decorative wire mesh ,and in the evenings the confessions of Grimes, any one of which would have glowed with outstanding shamelessness from the appendix to a treatise in psycho-analysis.
Mr Prendergast came in with the post.
'A letter for you, two for Grimes, nothing for me,' he said. 'No one ever writes to me. There was a time when I used to get five or six letters a day, not counting circulars. My mother used to file them for me to answer one heap of charity appeals, another for personal letters, another for marriages and funerals, another for baptisms and churchings, and another for anonymous abuse. I wonder why it is the clergy always get so many letters of that sort, sometimes from quite educated people. I remember my father had great trouble in that way once, and he was forced to call in the police because they became so threatening. And, do you know, it was the curate's wife who had sent them such a quiet little woman. There's your letter. Grimes' look like bills. I can't think why shops give that man credit at all. I always pay cash, or at least I should if I ever bought anything. But d'you know that, except for my tobacco and the Daily News and Decorative wire mesh occasionally a little port when it's very cold, I don't think I've bought anything for two years. The last thing I bought was that walking stick. I got it at Shanklin, and Grimes uses it for beating the boys with. I hadn't really meant to buy one, but I was there for the day two years this August and I went into the tobacconist's to buy some tobacco. He hadn't the sort I wanted, and I felt I couldn't go out without getting something, so I bought that. It cost one and six,' he added wistfully, 'so I had no tea.'
Paul took his letter. It had been forwarded from Onslow Square. On the flap were embossed the arms of Scone college. It was from one of his four friends.

Scone college, J.C.R.,
Oxford.
My dear Pennyfeather, it ran,
I need hardly tell you how distressed I was when I heard of your disastrous misfortune. It seems to me that a real injustice has been done to you. I have not heard the full facts of the case, but I was confirmed in my opinion by a very curious incident last evening. I was just going to bed when Digby Vane-Trumpington came into my rooms without knocking Decorative wire mesh. He was smoking a cigar. I had never spoken to him before, as you know, and was very much surprised at his visit. He said: 'I'm told you are a friend of Pennyfeather's.' I said I was, and he said: ' Well, I gather I've rather got him into a mess'; I said: ' Yes,' and he said: ' Well, will you apologize to him for me when you write?' I said I would. Then he said: 'Look here, I'm told he's rather poor. I thought of sending him some money £20 for sort of damages, you know. It's all I can spare at the moment. Wouldn't it be a useful thing to do?' I fairly let him have it, I can tell you, and told him just what I thought of him for making such an insulting suggestion. I asked him how he dared treat a gentleman like that just because he wasn't in his awful set. He seemed rather taken aback and said: 'Well all my friends spend all their time trying to get money out of me,' and went off.
I bicycled over to St Magnus's at Little Bechley and took some rubbings of the brasses there. I wished you had been with me.
Yours,
Arthur Potts.
PS. I understand you are thinking of taking up educational work. It seems to me that the great problem of education is to train the moral perceptions, not merely to discipline the appetites. I cannot help thinking that it is in greater fastidiousness rather than in greater self control that the future progress of the race lies. I shall be interested to hear what your experience has been over the matter. The chaplain does not agree with me in this. He says geat sensibility usually leads to enervation of will. Let me know what you think Decorative wire mesh.

'What do you think about that?' asked Paul, handing Mr Prendergast the letter.
'Well,' he said after studying it carefully, 'I think your friend is wrong about sensibility. It doesn't do to rely on one's own feelings, does it, not in anything?'
'No, I mean about the money.'
'Good gracious, Pennyfeather! I hope you are in no doubt about that. Accept it at once, of course.'
'It's a temptation.'
'My dear boy, it would be a sin to refuse. Twenty pounds! Why, it takes me half a term to earn that.'
The bell rang for tea. In the dining hall Paul gave the letter to Grimes.
'Shall I take the twenty pounds?' he asked.
'Take it? My Godl I should think you would.'
'Well, I'm not sure,' said Paul.
He thought about it all through afternoon school, all the time he was dressing for dinner, and all through dinner. It was a severe struggle, but his early training was victorious.
'If I take that money,' he said to himself, 'I shall never know whether I have acted rightly or not. It would always be on my mind. If I refuse, I shall be sure of having done right. I shall look upon my self denial with exquisite self approval. By refusing I can convince myself Decorative wire mesh that, in spite of the unbelievable things that have been happening to me during the last ten days, I am still the same Paul Pennyfeather I have respected so long. It is a test case of the durability of my ideals.'
He tried to explain something of what he felt to Grimes as they sat in Mrs Roberts's bar parlour that evening.
'I'm afraid you'll find my attitude rather difficult to understand,' he said. 'I suppose it's largely a matter of upbringing. There is every reason why I should take this money. Digby Vane Trumpington is exceedingly rich; and if he keeps it, it will undoubtedly be spent on betting or on some deplorable debauch. Owing to his party I have suffered irreparable harm. My whole future is shattered, and I have directly lost one hundred and twenty pounds a year in scholarships and two hundred and fifty pounds a year allowance from my guardian. By any ordinary process of thought, the money is justly mine. But,' said Paul Pennyfeather, 'there is my honour. For generations the British bourgeoisie have spoken of themselves as gentlemen, and by that they have meant, among other things Decorative wire mesh, a self respecting scorn of irregular perquisites. It is the quality that distinguishes the gentleman from both the artist and the aristocrat. Now I am a gentleman. I can't help it: it's born in me. I just can't take that money.'
'Well, I'm a gentleman too, old boy,' said Grimes, 'and I was afraid you might feel like that, so I did my best for you and saved you from yourself.'
'What d'you mean by that?'
'Dear old boy, don't be angry, but immediately after tea I sent off a wire to your friend Potts: Tell Trumpington send money quick, and signed it "Pennyfeather". I don't mind lending you the bob till it comes, either.'
'Grimes, you wretch!' said Paul, but, in spite of himself, he felt a great wave of satisfaction surge up within him. 'We must have another drink on that.'
'Good for you,' said Grimes, 'and it's on me this round.'
'To the durability of ideals!' said Paul as he got his pint.
'My word, what a mouthful!' said Grimes; 'I can't say that. Cheerioh!'
*
Two days later came another letter from Arthur Potts:

Dear Pennyfeather,
I enclose Trumpington's cheque for £20. I am glad that my dealings with him are at an end. I cannot pretend to understand your attitude in this matter Decorative wire mesh, but no doubt you are the best judge.
Stiggins is reading a paper to the O.S.C.U. on 'Sex Repression and Religious Experience'. Everyone expects rather a row, because you know how keen Walton is on the mystical element, which I think Stiggins is inclined to discount.
Yours,
Arthur Potts.
There is a most interesting article in the 'Educational Review' on the new methods that are being tried at the Innesborough High School to induce co ordination of the senses. •They put small objects into the children's mouths and make them draw the shapes in red chalk. Have you tried this with your boys? I must say I envy you your opportunities. Are your colleagues enlightened?
'This same Potts,' said Grimes as he read the letter, 'would appear to be something of a stinker. Still, we've got the doings. How about a binge?'
'Yes,' said Paul, 'I think we ought to do something about one. I should like to ask Prendy too.'
'Why, of course. It's just what Prendy needs. He's been looking awfully down in the mouth lately. Why shouldn't we all go over to the Metropole at Cwmpryddyg for dinner one night? We shall have to wait until the old boy goes away, otherwise he'll notice that there's no one on duty.'
Later in the day Paul suggested the plan to Mr Prendergast.
'Really, Pennyfeather,' he said, 'I think that's uncommonly kind of you. I hardly know what to say. Of course, I should love it. I can't remember when I dined at an hotel last. Certainly not since the war. It will be a treat. My dear boy. I'm quite overcome.'
And, much to Paul's embarrassment, a tear welled up in each of Mr Prendergast's eyes, and coursed down his cheeks Decorative wire mesh.

Old People Feel 13 Years Younger Than They Are

Older people tend to feel about 13 years younger than their chronological age, a new study finds.
The seniors in the study, all 70 and over, also thought they looked about 10 years younger than their numerical age, with women perceiving their appearances to be closer to their actual age than men.
"People generally felt quite a bit younger than they actually were, and they also showed relatively high levels of satisfaction with aging over the time period studied," said researcher Jacqui Smith, a psychologist at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research.
She added, "Perhaps feeling about 13 years younger is an optimal illusion in old age."
The results, which will be published in a forthcoming issue of the Journals of Gerontology: Psychological science, have implications beyond the psychological. Past research has shown that feeling youthful is linked with better health and longer life, the researchers say.
Spring chickens
Smith and her colleagues analyzed information collected from surveys of 516 men and women age 70 and older who participated in the Berlin Aging Study. The survey tracked how seniors' perceptions about age and their satisfaction with aging changed over a six-year period ending in 1998.
(Even though the study was conducted on Berlin residents, Smith said the same results should apply to Americans. And in fact her recent research on Americans is showing similar results.)
Decorative wire mesh Galvanized iron wire Grassland Fence
Some of the oldest participants actually felt even younger than the average delightful self-deception in the study. This could be due to the fact that individuals on the older side, say 85, experienced less overall decline with age. And that's why they survived, while their 70-year-old counterparts perhaps didn't have so much longer to live.
Those in poor health reported a smaller gap between how old they felt and their actual ages.
"The way that we feel about our age is in part a reflection of the message we are getting from society about what people our age ought to be doing," Smith told Livescience, "and it's also an indication about how we interpret our biological aging to be."
Lookin' good
The researchers also assessed how old people thought they looked by asking, "How old do you feel when you look at yourself in a mirror?" Participants indicated an age on a scale that ranged from 0 to 120 years.
At the start of the study, the seniors said they looked on average 10 years younger than their actual age and about seven years younger by the end of the study.
In general, women perceived their appearance as being closer to their actual age.
"Women saw themselves as about four years older than their male peers," Smith said. "There are several likely reasons for this gender gap in subjective physical age. One is that women may be more aware of their appearance than men, especially given the negative stereotypes of older bodies."
Decorative wire mesh Galvanized iron wire Grassland Fence
Another possible reason for the gender difference is that men typically die at a younger age compared with women. So the oldest men would've been in the best physical shape to live so long.
"Those men who live for a very long time are the fittest men, so they're usually much stronger than the women physically, and they may actually look better than many 80-year-old women physically," Smith said.
Participants also rated the extent to which they agreed with statements about satisfaction with aging. Results showed that initially, men were more satisfied than women with their own aging. But over the six-year period, men's satisfaction decreased more than women's did. Poor health magnified these patterns, Smith said.

Decline and Fall(5) Discipline

CHAPTER V Discipline

PRAYERS were held downstairs in the main hall of the Castle. The boys stood ranged along the panelled walls, each holding in his hands a little pile of books. Grimes sat on one of the chairs beside the baronial chimneypiece.
'Morning,' he said to Paul; 'only just down, I'm afraid. Do I smell of drink?'
'Yes,' said Paul.
'Comes of missing breakfast. Prendy been telling you about his Doubts?'
'Yes,' said Paul.
'Funny thing,' said Grimes, 'but I've never been worried in that way. I don't pretend to be a particularly pious sort of chap, but I've never had any Doubts Decorative wire mesh. When you've been in the soup as often as I have, it gives you a sort of feeling that everything's for the best, really. You know, God's in His heaven; all's right with the world. I can't quite explain it, but I don't believe one can ever be unhappy for long provited one does just exactly what one wants to and when one wants to. The last chap who put me on my feet said I was "singularly in harmony with the primitive promptings of humanity." I've remembered that phrase because somehow it seemed to fit me. Here comes the old man. This is where we stand up.'
As the bell stopped ringing Dr Fagan swept into the hall, the robes of a Doctor of philosophy swelling and billowing about him. He wore an orchid in his buttonhole.
'Good morning, gentlemen,' he said.
'Good morning, sir,' chorused the boys.
The Doctor advanced to the table at the end of the room, picked up a Bible, and opening it at random, read a chapter of blood curdling military history without any evident relish. From that he plunged into the Lord's prayer, which the boys took up in a quiet chatter. Prendergast's voice led them in tones that testified to his ecclesiastical past Decorative wire mesh.
Then the Doctor glanced at a sheet of notes he held in his hand. 'Boys,' he said, 'I have some announcements to make. The Fagan cross country running challenge cup will not be competed for this year on account of the floods.'
'I expect the old boy has popped it,' said Grimes in Paul's ear.
'Nor will the Llanabba Essay Prize.'
'On account of the floods,' said Grimes.
'I have received my account for the telephone,' proceeded Dr Fagan, 'and I find that during the past quarter there have been no less than twenty three trunk calls to London, none of which was sent by me or by members of my family. I look to the prefects to stop this, unless of course they are themselves responsible, in which case I must urge them in my own interests to make use of the village post office, to which they have access.
'I think that is everything, isn't it, Mr Prendergast?'
'Cigars,' said Mr Prendergast in a stage whisper.
'Ah yes, cigars. Boys, I have been deeply distressed to Decorative wire mesh learn that several cigar ends have been found where have they been found?'
'Boiler room.'
'In the boiler room. I regard this as reprehensible. What boy has been smoking cigars in the boiler room?'
There was a prolonged silence, during which the Doctor's eye travelled down the line of boys.
'I will give the culprit until luncheon to give himself up. If I do not hear from him by then the whole school will be heavily punished.'
'Damn!' said Grimes. 'I gave those cigars to Clutterbuck. I hope the little beast has the sense to keep quiet.'
'Go to your classes,' said the Doctor.
The boys filed out.
'I should think, by the look of them, they were exceedingly cheap cigars,' added Mr Prendergast sadly. 'They were a pale yellow colour.'
'That makes it worse,' said the Doctor. 'To think of any boy Decorative wire mesh under my charge smoking pale yellow cigars in a boiler room! It is not a gentlemanly fault.'
The masters went upstairs.
'That's your little mob in there,' said Grimes; 'you let them out at eleven.'
'But what am I to teach them?' said Paul in sudden panic.
'Oh, I shouldn't try to teach them anything, not just yet, anyway. Just keep them quiet.'
'Now that's a thing I've never learned to do,' sighed Mr Prendergast.
Paul watched him amble into his classroom at the end of the passage, where a burst of applause greeted his arrival. Dumb with terror he went into his own classroom.
Ten boys sat before him, their hands folded, their eyes bright with expectation.
'Good morning, sir,' said the one nearest him.
'Good morning,' said Paul.
'Good morning, sir,' said the next.
'Good morning,' said Paul.
'Good morning, sir,' said the next.
'Oh, shut up,' said Paul.
At this the boy took out a handkerchief and began to cry quietly.
'Oh, sir,' came a chorus of reproach, 'you've hurt his feelings. He's very sensitive; it's his Welsh blood, you know; it makes people very emotional. Say "Good morning" to him, sir, or he won't be happy all day. After all, it is a good morning, isn't it, sir?'
'Silence!' shouted Paul above the uproar, and for a few moments things were quieter Decorative wire mesh.
'Please, sir,' said a small voice Paul turned and saw a grave looking youth holding up his hand 'please, sir, perhaps he's been smoking cigars and doesn't feel well.'
'Silence!' said Paul again.
The ten boys stopped talking and sat perfectly still staring at him. He felt himself getting hot and red under their scrutiny.
'I suppose the first thing I ought to do is to get your names clear. What is your name?' he asked, turning to the first boy.
'Tangent, sir.'
'And yours?'
'Tangent, sir,' said the next boy. Paul's heart sank.
'But you can't both be called Tangent.'
'No, sir, I'm Tangent. He's just trying to be funny.'
'I like that. Me trying to be funny! Please, sir, I'm Tangent, sir; really I am.'
'If it comes to that,' said Clutterbuck from the back of the room, 'there is only one Decorative wire mesh Tangent here, and that is me. Anyone else can jolly well go to blazes.'
Paul felt desperate.
'Well, is there anyone who isn't Tangent?'
Four or five voices instantly arose.
'I'm not, sir; I'm not Tangent. I wouldn't be called Tangent, not on the end of a barge pole.'
In a few seconds the room had become divided into two parties: those who were Tangent and those who were not. Blows were already being exchanged, when the door opened and Grimes came in. There was a slight hush.
'I thought you might want this,' he said, handing Paul a walking stick. 'And if you take my advice, you'll set them something to do.'
He went out; and Paul, firmly grasping the walking-stick, faced his form.
'Listen,' he said. 'I don't care a damn what any of you are called, but if there's another word from anyone I shall keep you all in this afternoon.'
'You can't keep me in,' said Clutterbuck; 'I'm going for a walk with Captain Grimes.'
'Then I shall very nearly kill you with this stick. Meanwhile you will all write an essay on "Self indulgence". There will be a Decorative wire mesh prize of half a crown for the longest essay, irrespective of any possible merit.'
From then onwards all was silence until break. Paul, still holding his stick, gazed despondently out of the window. Now and then there rose from below the shrill voices of the servants scolding each other in Welsh. By the time the bell rang Clutterbuck had covered sixteen pages, and was awarded the half crown.
'Did you find those boys difficult to manage?' asked Mr Prendergast, filling his pipe.
'Not at all,' said Paul.
'Ah, you're lucky. I find all boys utterly intractable. I don't know why it is. Of course my wig has a lot to do with it. Have you noticed that I wear a wig?'
'No, no, of course not.'
'Well, the boys did as soon as they saw it. It was a great mistake my ever getting one. I thought when I left Worthing that I looked too old to get a job easily. I was only forty one. It was very expensive, even though I chose the cheapest quality. Perhaps that's why it looks so like a wig. I don't know. I knew from the first that it was a mistake, but once they had seen it, it was too late to go back.Decorative wire mesh They make all sorts of jokes about it.'
'I expect they'd laugh at something else if it wasn't that.'
'Yes, no doubt they would. I daresay it's a good thing to localize their ridicule as far as possible. Oh dear! oh dear! If it wasn't for my pipes, I don't know how I should manage to keep on. What made you come here?'
'I was sent down from Scone for indecent behaviour.'
'Oh yes, like Grimes?'
'No,' said Paul firmly, 'not like Grimes.'
'Oh, well, it's all much the same really. And there's the bell. Oh dear! oh dear! I believe that loathsome little man's taken my gown.'
*
Two days later Beste Chetwynde pulled out the vox humana and played Pop goes the Weasel.
'D'you know, sir, you've made rather a hit with the fifth form Decorative wire mesh?'
He and Paul were seated in the organ loft of the village church. It was their second music lesson.
'For goodness' sake, leave the organ alone. How d'you mean "hit"?'
'Well, Clutterbuck was in the matron's room this morning. He'd just got a tin of pineapple chunks. Tangent said, "Are you going to take that into Hall?" and he said, "No, I'm going to eat them in Mr Pennyfeather's hour." "Oh no, you're not," said Tangent. "Sweets and biscuits are one thing, but pineapple chunks are going too far. It's little stinkers like you," he said, "who turn decent masters savage." '
'Do you think that's so very complimentary?'
'I think it's one of the most complimentary things I ever heard said about a master,' said Beste Chetwynde; 'would you like me to try that hymn again?'
'No,' said Paul decisively.
'Well, then, I'll tell you another thing,' said Beste-Chetwynde. 'You know that man Philbrick. Well, I think there's something odd about him.'
'I've no doubt of it.'
'It's not just that he's such a bad butler. The servants are always ghastly here. But I don't believe he's a butler at all.'
'I don't quite see what else he can be.'
'Well, have you ever known a butler with a diamond tie pin?'
'No, I don't think I have.'
'Well, Philbrick's got one, and a diamond ring too. He showed decorative wire mesh them to Brolly. Colossal great diamonds, Brolly says. Philbrick said he used to have bushels of diamonds and emeralds before the war, and that he used to eat off gold plate. We believe that he's a Russian prince in exile.'
'Generally speaking, Russians are not shy about using their titles, are they? Besides, he looks very English.'
'Yes, we thought of that, but Brolly said lots of Russians came to school in England before the war. And now I am going to play the organ,' said Beste Chetwynde. 'After all, my mother does pay five guineas a term extra for me to learn.'